Callwood at the Cooler #37

By | January 23, 2018 at 5:00 PM
Porn stars and presidents…

Hands up if you think that President Trump didn’t boink porn star Stormy Daniels. And then pay for her silence. Personally, I don’t know if the leader of the free world had a night of decadence and debauchery with Daniels (and potentially a friend of hers or two). But c’mon now, it’s not exactly out of character for the man. Would anyone be surprised?

But two things: After the infamous pussy-grab tape was made public just before the election, we learned that his base not only doesn’t care about this stuff, they positively revel in it. This is Trump shooting from the hip. Saying it like it is. Remember when Trump said that he could shoot someone and get away with it? And we all gasped in amazement? HE WAS RIGHT! His supporters love this stuff. At this point, all they want to do is upset liberals so that they can say “snowflake” again.

But the other thing is, I don’t care if he rubbed his sweaty (239 pound) frame, consensually, over Daniels’ inevitably bored body. They’re both adults. They can do what they want. It’s not great for his wife but, honestly, nobody thought that he had been a perfect, decent, loyal husband anyway, did they? Not even Republicans who, again, would probably view Trump heaving himself onto a porn star as a display of red-blooded, cholesterol-consuming, chest-beating, alpha-male awesomeness.

The man is a billionaire (ish, maybe) without morals. He likely talked his way into many a bed. It’s gross, but true. What should bother us is the hypocrisy. Remember how upset Republicans were about Bill Clinton and Lewinsky?  Now, what they’ll tell us is that the Clinton situation is different because he was President at the time of the sexual relationship (yep, sorry Bill, that’s what it was).

But I call bullshit. If Trump were to film a sex tape TODAY, in the Oval Office, with the entire cast of Debbie Does Dallas, with the US and confederate flags wrapped around his frame, singing “Yankee Doodle Dandy,” Melania Trump sat in the corner looking sad, Ivanka shouting directions, his supporters would STILL cheer and say that this is what real Americans do.

Meanwhile, if it was revealed that Barack Obama once Googled “orgy,” those same Republicans would scream and yell about the disgrace of it all. And make no mistake: The Democrats are not innocent when it comes to the hypocrisy of partisan politics. All politicians are opportunistic. I guess they have to be. “My guy might have done this thing, but your guy did this thing that was worse.”

But the current guy in the White House is different. Don’t let this craziness become normalized—that’s how they’ll get you. Because real Americans don’t talk like him. Real, decent Americans don’t talk about “shithole” (or “shithouse,” who cares?) countries, “bad hombres,” and “grabbing pussy.” Assholes do that. We know them, we’ve all met them. Douchey dudes in bars, usually drunk, racists, ranting about the people who “we taxpayers” are paying for, while hitting on a bartender who just wants to go home with some tips in her pocket. REAL Americans, hate that crap. Real Americans make sure that the bartender isn’t being harassed. That’s what the decent people do.

The end of Callwood at the Cooler…

I’m thinking about this perhaps deeper than usual right now, because this will be my last “Callwood at the Cooler” column, my last piece of work for idobi, for the foreseeable future. I’ve accepted the position of Music Editor at the LA Weekly, and there will be a “breaking news” element to the job as well.

I’m sad to be giving up my column— is a fantastic website managed by wonderful people, with a stable of great writers. I’ve enjoyed and appreciated the freedom to write this bi-weekly exploration into whatever was on my mind. I’m also excited about playing a part in helping Los Angeles’ alt-weekly be as good as it can be. A city such as L.A. needs a quality alt-weekly, giving a voice to the voiceless, covering the stories that aren’t covered elsewhere and, yes, making sure that the local music scene is offered as many spotlights as possible. Meanwhile, idobi will continue to thrive.

All you need to do is keep reading. Pick your journalists and outlets—whatever the President says about the media, there are many great writers out there doing amazing work. Trump hates that the press has freedom, but the freedom of the press is a vital part of what makes America great.

“Callwood at the Cooler” is a bi-weekly column which will see me waxing lyrical about events in the news, pop culture and the etc. Sometimes it’ll be light, other times not-so when the rant/monolog demands. The subject matter will vary dramatically so expect anything and keep coming back.