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Soon You Can Throw Darts At The Osbournes, Make Them Quack

With the success of “The Osbournes,” Ozzy and his clan seem omnipresent. It feels like you can’t go anywhere without being exposed to something related to the offbeat family. As it is for Ozzy himself, your only refuge from the onslaught is the confines of your bathroom. However, soon even that sanctuary will be ripe for some Osbourne accoutrements.

The family has signed a licensing agreement with San Francisco-based Signatures Network, which will usher everything from Osbourne backpacks and beach towels to cookie jars and cell phone covers into the marketplace in the coming months, according to company CEO Dell Furano.

T-shirts, caps and posters bearing “The Osbournes” name are already in stores, and the second salvo of gear, including backpacks, notebooks and bobblehead dolls, are expected to be released in the next 30-45 days. Among the other Osbournes products to be rolled out soon are men’s underwear (both boxers and briefs), hosiery, wallets, stickers, dart boards, refrigerator magnets, Halloween masks, comic books, greeting cards, pillows and bedsheets. Perhaps the strangest item of the bunch is a set of Osbourne family collectible ducks, four web-footed birds that bear a striking resemblance to Ozzy, Sharon, Kelly and Jack.

The T-shirts as well as some of the other products carry some of the sayings Ozzy and his family made famous during the show’s first season, such as, “I’m not cleaning up the dog sh-, I’m a f–ing rock star!” and the tender “Shut the f– up and go to bed.” A shirt stamped with a picture of Ozzy and Sharon each flipping the bird is captioned, “The parents you wish you had.” Censored versions of the sayings are being printed for retail outlets that request them, like Target and Wal-Mart chains.

It’s not only the human stars of the show that are being made into must-have collectibles for Ozzy fans. Lola, the family bulldog, posed for more than 400 pictures in 24 different costumes at a photo shoot Monday, and the resulting images will be used for a calendar. Among the personas the lovably lumpy canine flashes are a devil, surfer, golfer, bride and Uncle Sam. A line of dog leashes will coincide with the release of the calendar.

Each one of Signatures’ ideas must be given the go-ahead by the Osbournes. An Osbourne toilet seat cover, for example, is still awaiting a green light by Sharon.

“We wanted to take irreverence to a new low,” Furano said of the commode cover.

The CEO expects “The Osbournes” merchandise to generate approximately $200 million at retail by the end of the year, he said. Of that total, the Osbournes will pocket approximately $10-15 million, which nearly equates to a common licensing rate of 10-15 percent of wholesale revenue.

Signatures Network, which also introduced last year’s Kiss Kasket, has maintained a licensing agreement with Ozzy Osbourne since his 1980 solo debut, Blizzard of Ozz.

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