Although it is something most of us can understand and relate to, no one gets ‘GROWING UP ON THE INTERNET’ quite like NOAHFINNCE. Most of us were spectators at a young age online, while NOAHFINNCE was living directly in the spotlight. Noah Finn Adams became a very successful YouTube personality when he was in his early teens and still in school. After years of developing his artistry as a musician in the pop punk and alternative rock space, he now reflects on his journey through adolescence in the public eye.
Today, his debut album, GROWING UP ON THE INTERNET dropped via Hopeless Records. A masterful full-length effort, he dissects themes of transphobia, mental health, self-awareness, and internet culture as a whole, across an impressive 11-track record. idobi Radio had the pleasure of sitting down with NOAHFINNCE to discuss the narratives and themes of the album at length. Get comfortable, because this is a good one.
You put out two EPs that were obviously great. I feel like you touched on some of the subjects found on GROWING UP ON THE INTERNET in your past releases but really dove in on the album. When you sat down to make this record, did you know in advance that you wanted to focus on these themes or did you get to a certain point in the writing process where things clicked?
It was the second one. I feel like going into any project my anxiety is crazy, because I’m just like, “I don’t know what it’s gonna be.” I don’t like not knowing what it’s going to be because I love organization. I recently got diagnosed with autism as well. So I’m like, “I love organization.” I love putting things into neat little boxes. But for the album, it wasn’t until I think we’d written maybe two or three songs and then I had this voice note idea for “GROWING UP ON THE INTERNET”. As soon as I got that chorus down, I was like “wait, there is so much to say about this.”
The last two EPs were like, “Oh, Noah discovers therapy.” They’re all like childhood trauma, that kind of stuff. I felt like there was this whole “growing up on the internet” thing that I had never processed. As soon as I wrote that voice note and started writing that song, I was like, “Oh, this is entirely what the album has to be about.” Because even if I’m not purposely writing it that way, stuff that I end up making just ended up fitting within that.
That trajectory actually makes a lot of sense because I saw what you were talking about the other day, about how processing the effects of everything that you went through when you were younger and being in a spotlight, you were kind of living two different lives. You had your internet life and you had your life when you were at school and at home. The therapy brought you to where you are now and allowed you to process that. Do you feel better now or was that scary?
Well, the funny thing is—I dumped my therapist like a year ago and I hadn’t spoken about internet stuff in therapy. Writing the music was therapy for me. I’ve had my first appointment with a new therapist who seems way better. But yeah, I haven’t even therapized that. Literally the only therapy I’ve had about this topic is just going into the studio and writing about it.
That’s kind of why we all get into music in the first place, I think. It is like an outlet. So obviously, we’re both trans, and I’m sure a large portion of your fanbase is also within the LGBTQIA+ community. You speak openly about the backlash and transphobia you experience in your comments and on your profiles. I’m curious, does that affect you differently to see people ingrained in our community, as opposed to random people hiding behind a keyboard, spreading transphobia?
Definitely. Because I grew up on the internet, I had an audience and I was used to that backlash before I even became an adult or even had my own sense of self. So that’s always been something that’s always been there. I can kind of ignore it to a point. But yeah, it is. It’s not confusing that there’s people within this community that are like that, but it’s more just disappointing because the reason that I was so drawn to punk music and pop punk, and this kind of scene, is that everybody within it is drawn to it for their own reasons.
A lot of it is just like, “I feel different. I feel like an outsider. I feel like I don’t fit in. I feel like people don’t understand me.” In my head it makes so much sense why there are so many queer people within the scene, because even if they’re not getting the exact feelings that the four white guys and whatever band it was two years ago, you know, but they’re inspired by that kind of sense of wanting to belong somewhere. So it does feel kind of like an oxymoron. I don’t think anyone’s under the illusion that those [transphobic] people are good people. But the fact that there are people in this community who will follow suit because of them is disappointing. But it also motivates me more. I’m like, “wow, you motherfuckers are still doing this shit?”
That brings me to “SCUMBAG.” I feel like that’s a good place to start. We’ll jump into “LOVELY LADIES” in a second. But “SCUMBAG” felt like a pipeline to that one. Just on a fun topic…How was it filming that music video? That music video is probably my favorite one you put out just because I’m a horror boy and the darker aesthetics were very cool. What was your experience like filming that one?
If you love horror shit, you’re gonna love the music video for “ALEXITHYMIA.” It is gory, and disgusting and dark and gross. And I love it. But “SCUMBAG” was a really fun music video to film because Kelsey, who was “dancing magical schoolgirl,” I was friends with her before I wrote the song. We’re kind of part of the same community. When I was writing the song, I was like, “I need her in the music video.”
She had initially killed that character. Because obviously, stuff came out. She was like, “I don’t want to be a part of it. Even if I’m against it. I don’t even want to give that franchise attention.” I asked her about it. I was like, look, “I know you don’t want to do it. But I feel like if you’re gonna revive it, this is the time.” So she agreed to do it and it’s incredible.
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We filmed either a day after we had a tour or a day before we had a tour. So I was like, up to my tits in work. I sent over what I wanted the music video to kind of be to my director, Luke, who does all the music videos. I was like, “Look, here are a few ideas I have. I’m kind of burnt out so just go for it.” I didn’t know what to expect when I turned up. I didn’t know that there were going to be those capes or that branding stuff.
But yeah, turning up and seeing her do the dance for the first time, I was like, “Okay, that is exactly what I pictured in my head”. It was just fun. I just turned up and there was a cupboard made for me with my initials on it that my friends had made and the capes with “NF.” So yeah, it felt like a cool rockstar moment.
What was it like writing that first and then “LOVELY LADIES?” After you wrote “SCUMBAG” did you feel like you had more to say on that subject, or did something new make you more angry?
Yeah, I feel like I definitely had more to say after “SCUMBAG.” “SCUMBAG” was the first song that I’ve written specifically about transphobia. I started off as a My Chemical Romance fan account and would just post covers. That was my thing. I would sing and then came out as trans and didn’t want to be seen as a trans guy or a trans person or an activist or a representation of that because I had a lot of internalized transphobia and then “asthma attack” was the first one that was about trans stuff. I wrote that when I was 15 or 16. Since then, I hadn’t written a single thing really that was mostly about transphobia.
Writing “SCUMBAG” was a time when I was so burnt out from doing everything and then also the fact that like, so much of my stuff online on YouTube is about trans stuff and the rise of anti-trans rhetoric in the past, even just last year has been exhausting. It left me feeling like I just didn’t know what I wanted to do or say and I felt completely out of control. With “SCUMBAG” I thought, “We’ll make a fun song, we’ll make a song that sounds like Kesha and 3OH!3 had a baby. And that will be fun. Then we finished that, I was like, “Okay, cool, I think it deserves its place on this album and I love this song, but I don’t think it is an accurate representation of where my head was at.”
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When it came to “LOVELY LADIES,” I was like, “I’m just angry.” “LOVELY LADIES” is entirely from the perspective of what transphobes think trans people are. What I say on stage is my impression of the big scary transgender person the media thinks I am. I want to write a song like that because I’ve grown up on YouTube, I’ve grown up getting horrible, terrible comments saying I should kill myself. I’m going to die. I’m a child groomer, because I talk about my experience. Like I’ve had threats. I’ve had articles written about me about how I’ve groomed someone’s kid. Like all that crazy shit, just because I’m like, “Oh, here’s me before, here’s me after.”
I just need to let people know how insane it is. I need people to understand how fucked the transphobic rhetoric going around nowadays is. Because it’s not it’s not based on fact, it’s not based on studies, it’s not based on anything other than this delusional idea that trans people are dangerous. And I just wanted to put that into a song.
When I saw that you had worked with McFly I thought, “this makes perfect sense.” How was that experience?
Yeah, the McFly thing that the fucking best. Getting into the studio with them was just fun. Like it was really chill. They just sat me down, gave me a studio tour and then were like, “ So what are you about? Like, what are you feeling? What do you think? Like? How do you want to present yourself to the world?” Whereas a lot of writing sessions that you’ll go into people will be like, “Okay, let’s write a hit or write a hit.” They really cared about what I had to say. And I was just excited. We’d sit with the four of us in a circle and play guitar at each other. It was just fun. We just listened to music. We chat shit, we spoke probably for more time than we ended up writing.
What’s your favorite B-side from the record, and which song are you most excited to play live?
That’s a great question. I think “LOVELY LADIES” is my favorite song to play live. Probably my favorite track too, because when we played the last UK tour in October before anyone had a fucking clue what it was about. I don’t know if I had announced the album at that point. But like, even without people knowing the song, they were like, “Oh, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.”
Then I played it on the recent tour that I did with Enter Shikari. It was full of an audience of people who probably don’t know who I am. That one got their heads bobbing. Ever since I played it for the first time in the UK, people have been asking me, “When’s ‘LOVELY LADIES’ coming out? I’ve got videos of it, I know the words. When’s it out? When’s the music video? Tell me when it’s gonna be out.” So I think that’s definitely one that people will be most excited for.
Anything else you want people to know about it?
My favorite verse I’ve ever written is the second verse in “SUBTITLES.” The song is entirely about having Autism and mourning the life without autism that you thought you had. I wrote that entire second verse in about three minutes while I was taking a shit. It’s like the most emotional, the most accurate depiction of what my mental state was at that point. I think that’s funny. The most emo song on the album I wrote while taking a dump.
I feel like the main thing I want people to know about the album is do not listen to it on shuffle. Don’t put the fucking shuffle on. Put your headphones on, take away half an hour and listen. Get your friends to get in the car drive real fast. Listen to it, but it has to be an order. Because there’s a reason that they’re ordered like that.
Well, the headline of this interview is going to be that you wrote an emo song while taking the dump just so you know.
You have to. People will definitely click on it. That’s fantastic.
