Guest Post: Make Sure Your Friends Are Okay’s Open Letter to a Friend
by Laice O’Malley of Make Sure Your Friends Are Okay
By idobi Staff |
December 22, 2020 at 12:00 PM
If you are reading this I want you to know that you are on my heart. Wherever you may be, whatever you may be going through. Take a second to close your eyes and feel my love. No matter how lonely you may feel at this very moment, you are NOT alone. Chances are that many people in your life may be feeling the same. Especially during the holidays. I know it can be hard to reach out to a friend or loved one and let them know that you need a little extra support, or maybe you don’t feel like there is anyone to reach out to. In that case I hope this letter helps even just a little bit.
First and foremost know that how you are feeling is completely normal and human. Allow yourself to feel all the feelings and give yourself some grace. Everyone feels this way at some point. No matter their age, status, financial situation. Feeling low doesn’t make you weak or broken.
Also, you can’t win every single day. Forgive yourself.You are doing the best you can with what you have.
This world needs you. I need you. I know you may not feel the best right now. You may feel lost at sea, just treading water and praying for a lifeboat. Like you have no value and you can’t see out of the storm.
I’ve been there. It’s lonely. It’s scary. It’s overwhelming.
I am here to tell you that EVERYTHING IS TEMPORARY. You won’t feel this way forever. My uncle recently shared a beautiful quote with me: “The higher the mountain you climb, the more beautiful the view.” When you are climbing the mountain you may feel exhausted, defeated, or feel like giving up. But once you reach the peak, and see the beauty for miles—it sure feels good to look back at how far you’ve come.
To use this same analogy… Eventually you have to come down the mountain. And that comes with its own struggles. Life ebbs and flows. All we can do is have faith that we are exactly where we are supposed to be in this present moment.
Mentors of mine, Michelle and Robert Colt once told me that everything rises in a binary. So, we can’t know happy without sad, or good without bad, etc. The feeling you are having now shows you that you have the potential to feel the complete opposite to this same extreme. So, if you are at your lowest, find comfort in the knowledge that your highest will be matched at the same level.
But, life is hard. That is no secret. I am not a professional and I can’t take the pain away. All I can do is assure you that you are just as worthy of love now as you are when you are on top of the world. Dr. Sukhraj Dhillon said it beautifully, “Maybe I can’t stop the downpour, but I will always join you for a walk in the rain.”
I am not the only stranger willing to walk with you in the rain. I reached out to a couple of friends and told them that we have a new friend out there who needs us. I asked them to share some advice to help you get through. This is what they said:
“Although those we love may not be with us physically, we carry them everywhere we go in our hearts.”
“Grief has no timeline.”
“I am proud of you for getting this far. You matter and I am so thankful that you are here.”
“What is meant for you won’t pass you.”
“You didn’t do anything to deserve the pain you are in.”
“It’s okay to not be okay. Reach out and ask for support. People in your life love you and care about you.”
“You have to see past this moment in your life, you’re angry, and sad, and just feel so lost and powerless, but you have to look beyond. Just one point, one desire, one thing that makes you happy, focus on that.
This darkness may not go away all at once and it may take longer than you like, but you keep that moment you cherish close to your heart, and you fight. Always keep fighting.”
“It is good “work” to just be at peace in the moment with no agenda and not upset with what is not here with you.”
“When I start to get sad thoughts in my head, I remind myself not to give up and to search for the beauty around me.”
“There are better times ahead. Nothing lasts forever, especially the tough times. You can and will get through it if you just keep on moving forward, even if you get knocked back a few steps. One foot in front of the other keeps you going.”
“Stay strong, you’re beautiful.”
“Don’t push yourself too hard. Take a deep breath and be kind to yourself.”
“Give yourself the love you give others.”
“Not being able to hug is temporary, but we will all be able to again soon!”
I love you. I know you may not know me, but people hate what they don’t know all the time, so it’s possible to love people we don’t know too.
And if this letter is not enough, that is okay. There are so many resources out there. People who want to be here for and with you. The crisis hotline is an incredible, free resource that provides you someone to text with and work through “hot” feelings and situations. Text “HOME” to 741741 to be connected to a real person. If you want to find a therapist, our friends at BetterHelp want to offer you 7 days free and 10% off at betterhelp.com/msyfao.
Until next time, I am going to be here. Walking with you through the rain. And once the rain starts to clear up and the sun comes out, I will admire the rainbows with you. Thank you for showing up for yourself today. You are brave.
Love your new friend, Laice
Laice O’Malley is the Host of the Make Sure Your Friends Are Okay podcast on Apple and Spotify as well as the creator of #notes2pass on instagram.