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'Hilary Duff Is A Loser And A Chicken,' Harvard College Paper Says

Hilary Duff might be taking classes at Harvard, but that doesn’t mean her fellow students have to like it.

In an editorial published last week in The Crimson, Harvard’s school newspaper, the staff lambastes Duff, calling her a “loser and a chicken” because she didn’t go through Harvard’s notoriously difficult undergraduate-admissions process and won’t be participating in campus activities. Duff is not a student at Harvard proper, but is auditing courses through the Harvard Extension School, a continuing-education program that allows the singer to take a few classes online, including environmental science, government, and sociology.

While Duff has noted on her Web site that she’s “taking on-line classes for Harvard University” and described the process, her classmates are evidently objecting to the media’s portrayal of Duff as a Harvard student.

“Man-up (extension) Duff,” the article reads. “It’s one thing to say you go to Harvard (extension), but it’s another to live la vida Harvard (extension).” The article then lists a sampling of social organizations and activities that are unique to the school. “Have you, par example, been punched by the Bee (extension) Club? Or attended the Daedalus (extension) Final (extension) Club?”

If those activities aren’t up Duff’s alley, The Crimson asks, then what is? “Maybe that blonde at the protest against University (not extension) President Lawrence H. Summers was you. Maybe not. But if it was, did you ever consider his feelings?… Also, are you considering declaring a science (extension) concentration? It would look really good for Harvard (extension and not extension).”

The editorial also points out that her higher education choices won’t win Duff any points in the dating arena. “You should have gone to Yale (extension or not extension; wait, is there a Yale not extension?). Someone forgot to tell you about the caveat about dropping the H-(extension)-bomb. Namely, if you’re a member of the fairer sex, it doesn’t work. Case in point – Natalie Portman ’03 (not extension): single. Barbara Bush (Yale ’04, not extension): hot.”

The editorial concludes by saying, “Enough (extension) Duff. We (not extension) call a truce. So you told people you were going to Harvard (ambiguous). It’s Harvard (extension), which (disclaimer) by the way is a perfectly great option for education. Whatever.”

Perhaps Duff can clear the air by inviting some of her fellow students on ABC’s daytime show “The View” – Duff will fill in for Elizabeth Hasselbeck when she’s on maternity leave during the first week of April.

Calls for comment to Duff’s representatives were not returned at press time.

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