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'Apprentice' Viewing Party a Den of Sin

Derrik J. Lang – Bad Language was a bad apple in a bunch of good-looking apples at a Garden of Eden-themed “Apprentice” viewing party Thursday night, ably hosted by that music network that’s not MTV.

Good and evil partygoers feasted on chicken skewers and crab cakes amid pillars infused with vines and forbidden fruit. An array of rejects from the past two seasons fought for attention among Fuse video jockeys, Michael Imperioli, a contortionist and a snake lady.

Although Audrey “I wanted to scar my face because I was so beautiful!” Evans giggled with a gaggle of attendees, Stacie “I’m not crazy!” Jones Upchurch garnered more attention with her rounder-than-an-apple afro. There was more hair care once Donald Trump and Melania Knauss Trump showed up. Now that they’re wed, seems the apple doesn’t fall far from The Donald. Melania was sporting blonder tresses that appeared to match her hubby’s wavy weirdness.

When the clock struck “Apprentice,” two gigantic screens descended from the heavens, striking one partygoer in the head. He was fine, later bragging about the conk to a friend. During the viewing, watchers cheered when Fuse was mentioned, jeered when firee John Gafford made sexist remarks and steered toward the bar during commercial breaks.

After the episode, BL overheard the contortionist, who provided atmosphere and visual anguish from atop a table, bragging about his sex life to Fuse metalhead VJ Juliya. How original and sinful. You’re hired.

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