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Wednesday’s Band is Full of Woe: The Goth Queen Forms a Superband

Photo courtesy of Netflix © 2022

For the Benefit of All Who Attend Nevermore,

As I am in her debt for assisting me in submitting an assignment via electronic mail, Enid extorted me into writing something for her blog. However, I agreed purely on the terms that my original typed parchment—accompanied by illustrations—be circulated through print media, as well.

The following was supplied as my prompt: “What is your uber-hot funky fresh SUPERBAND?” I shall not address the garishness of the title and instead focus on paying off my debt to Enid. Please see my answer with brief descriptions below:

Vocalist – Suki Kwan

Photo by Eva Sanabria via Segundo Premio

Suki Kwan, formerly of Second Still, is my vocalist. Goth femme icons are worth their weight in silver bullets—examples: Siouxie Sioux and Chelsea Wolfe. I have chosen Suki Kwan after listening to “Spiders and Spies”. It reminds me of a game Pugsley and I used to play on gray, winter mornings in the Addams cemetery; those Halcyon Days.

Drummer – Carla Azar

Photo by Jo McCaughey

For drummer, Carla Azar of Autolux is my preferred waker of the dead. Her sense of rhythm is metronomic and instinctual. Bengal tigers prowl the Himalayan steppe to the same primeval tempo as the kick of her bass drum.

Bassist – Peter Hook

Photo via The Argus

The UnHoly Order of Goth Bass has but one saint: Peter Hook. Musicians must seek Joy Division and New Order in efforts to understand what goth bass is. Obvious Choice.

Wildcard – Bauhaus

Photo via Getty

As my final addition, I have chosen an entire band: Bauhaus. It is impossible for me to pluck out just one member to include. It would be like asking me to choose a favorite plague—Bubonic, Syphilis, Dancing—all frightening in their own right.

Pay no heed to the libertine masses, I have presented the most exhilarating version of “SUPERBAND”. A word to all critics, I will await you in the commons by the stocks after the sun dies. I intend to field all refutations to my assertions. However, be prepared to spend the foreseeable future entombed if your rebuttals are found lacking.

Woe to Thee,

Wednesday Addams


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